Manipulative People

If you have a chronic disease, ask yourself if you have a manipulative person in your life at work, home, or both. All too often, those being manipulated 'stuff' their true feelings of resentment and/or find themselves, everyday, feeling powerless. All this can add up to chronic disease. It may not even be the initial cause, but it certainly doesn't help.

These are some basic clues to manipulation. And I got all these from Pastor Danny Green at Covenant Family Church, College Station, Texas last Sunday. The wonderful man not only sits there and talks to you, as one friend to another, but he gives cheat notes! These are his cheat notes.

Manipulation means- "managing or controlling by shrewd use of influence, often in an unfair or fraudulent way." Genesis 3:1-12 and I Kings 21:1-16

People who manipulate:
#1 Set out to satisfy or build their own kingdoms.
#2 Use people in order to get ahead.
#3 Sulk and get angry when they don't get their way.
#4 Abuse the authority they have been given.

Manipulative people can display attitudes of...
* Pride, arrogance, conceit
* Insecurity
* Moodiness
* Selfishness
* Cynicism (no trust--if you are a trusting and trustworthy person, they won't believe you, they will think you are up to something.)

Manipulators know how to play the game....
1. Play the Victim (I'm not responsible.)
2. Play the matyr.
3. Play stupid.
4. Fabricate and embellish the facts.
5. Act (play) "sorry" for wrong behaviors.

Susan here--sometimes just recognizing that you have a manipulator is a help in and of itself. You recognize how totally different their approach is to the world than yours, and you realize they are taking your good natured kindness and using it to their benefit. In short, you are not crazy. Pastor Danny told us the one most important thing to say to manipulators is "That was hurtful. Quit that." But mostly, he seemed concerned that each of us individually improve. To that point he closed with:

How to positively influence the people in your life.
Step #1 Stop gossiping and critizing other people.
Step #2 Compliment people when you can.
Step #3 Inspire people.
Step #4 Take a genuine interest in people (they will know when it is not genuine.)

Susan again: that's it, that's my blog for the day. Hope you liked it and hope it helps you ;-)